General Q&A
おつきあい・otukiai: Does it mean to date? or just hanging out?
There are 2 distinct meanings and usages for this word.
- つきあう・Tukiau (with anybody)= to have a relationship, to accompany
- つきあう・Tukiau (romantic relationship)= to date, to become boyfriend/girlfriend
How do you know it's #1 or #2? Sometimes it's obvious, but sometimes not.
つきあう・Tukiau (with anybody) = to accompany, to have a relationship
This can be between friends, colleagues, neighbors.
Common phrases are:
★「じかんある?ちょっとつきあってほしいんだけど」
(Jikan aru? Chotto tukiatte hosiindakedo)
(Do you have time?/Are you free now? I want you to come with me/Can you come with me?)
You are casually asking someone to accompany you somewhere. Here, "Tukiau" means "to accompany" or "to spend time with".
★「かのじょは、きんじょづきあいで いそがしい」
(Kanojo wa kinjo zukiai de isogasii)
(She is busy with her neighbors) [Tukiai becomes Zukiai for ease of pronunciation]
Here, "Tukiai" is used as a noun. It means general relationship.
つきあう・Tukiau = to date, to become a boyfriend/girlfriend
You use this word when you are officially asking someone to go out with you, to commit to a relationship. Also, you use this word to say you are in relationship with someone.
Common phrases are:
★「ぼくと、おつきあい してください。」
(Boku to otukiai site kudasai.) [usually with O+tukiai]
(Please go out with me./Would you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?)
★「XXさんと、おつきあい しています。」
(XXX san to otukiai site imasu.)
(I'm dating XXX. / XXX is my girlfriend/boyfriend.)
Tip & Comment
"Tukiai/Tukiau" means both a casual act and romantic commitment. Normally you can tell the difference by the attitude or how it's delivered.
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